I’m NOT Superwoman…

And that’s OK!!  A revelation I had last weekend, “ I really CAN’T do it all.”  I’m not sure why this was such a surprise. I guess I’ve always been able to wear my many hats and make it all work, no matter how hard it may be; but not last weekend.  It wasn’t a extremely hard week: 3 days at work (Mon- Wed.) Then pack me and my 2 kiddos up and off for a weekend with the youth group for youth convention with late night concerts, fine arts competitions and lots of fun right?  Did I mention my kids are 4 months and 4 years old?  I felt awful when we got to the hotel and I realize I hadn’t done anything to prepare for the Youth Pastor’s Wife part of the trip… No goody bags, no snacks, no bookmarks with scriptures on them.. Now I don’t mean to brag but I’ve always been awesome at this part of my role as a minister.  I love getting to spend that time away with the teenage girls… staying up late, girl talk, really connecting with our students.  But this weekend I was so busy making sure I had everything for MY own kiddos that I didn’t even think about it! My four month old was so fussy I had to leave the convention early every night.  My 4 year old was whiney and bored… I felt bad for her, our hotel was right in front of the indoor pool and we only got to swim once the whole time.  Guilt, Guilt, Guilt.   Guilt that this wasn’t a vacation for my kids.  Guilt that I wasn’t getting to even spend time with my youth group, let alone pour into their lives.  Guilt that I couldn’t connect with other ministers and their wives. Guilt that I was cranky to my husband because I was trying to be a single mom for the weekend so he could do what he was there to do.  So after having a breakdown on the phone with my husband while I was at the hotel with 2 fussy kids… I realized I can’t do it all.  And that’s ok.  Really it IS OK!  We don’t HAVE to be perfect at everything.  We can mess up.  This is a season of my life (thank you TORI).  One day my kids will be older and not so fussy. One day I’ll go back to my former glory of being a minister’s wife.  This time it just didn’t happen..  But you know what… God still loves me.. He’s helping me become a better wife, mother, spiritual leader with every experience.  And I won’t give up… I’ll keep trying, keep failing- I’m sure, but I’ll never give up on what he’s called me to do.  I hope you can find some encouragement in this post!